Month: January 2014

Everyday Heroes

My Grandpa Wood was good in the most basic, fullest, roundest sense of the word.  Do not misunderstand, he was not perfect or without fault; he was GOOD.  He passed away last July; we lost another member what Tom Brokaw has dubbed “The Greatest Generation.”   He is remembered as a hero because he served and fought for his country in World War II, and he is a hero.

But not only because of his service in the war.  My grandfather is also a hero because of who he was his entire life.  He was kind words, courtesy, respect, and a big smile for everyone (this, I remember most about him).  Grandpa was the small, everyday moments that impact people’s lives.  Heroes exist because of their courage in unimaginable circumstances. Heroes also exist because of their actions in everyday life.

I don’t remember ever discussing civil rights, equality or racism with my grandfather (or that part of the extended family) – it might seem odd, especially given my vocation- yet, without ever verbalizing it, I know that he is one of the people from whom I learned the inalienable worth of all people.

Sometimes I feel that the Civil Rights Movement was BIG- in its aims and its action. But that’s because I’m looking back on the Movement, seeing it quantified and packaged into history books.  If I examine more closely, I see the Movement was made up of unnamed heroes and their everyday actions.  Heroes drove their cars to support boycotts.  Heroes sat at a lunch counter to demand respect.  Heroes sang to give others hope.  Heroes meditated quietly in jail cells to protest injustice.  Heroes walked miles to change the laws.  Heroes taught their children and their children’s children not to hate. 

Unfortunately, it is also the everyday things that many of us can take for granted; the everyday things which are still denied.

Like the ability for all couples to live in a committed relationship in security and without hindrance.  Denied are the words “I do” and all the responsibilities, legal protections, and privileges which these words usher forth.  An everyday privilege which my mind rails against- not because I don’t want the ability, I cherish my commitment to Michael- but because marriage should not be a privilege.  It should be an everyday right.  Because “the rights to liberty and happiness belong to each of us and on the same terms, without regard to either skin color or sexual orientation.”  (John Lewis)

Equality in marriage is just one of the “everyday rights” issues that this nation faces.  There are many issues, rooted in discrimination and bigotry, which demand our attention: available/affordable health care, equitable education, fair wages, justice in the legal system, all the ”isms” which persist…  so many concerns, that I personally feel both galvanized and overwhelmed at the same time.  I often feel I don’t know how to best serve.

But then I remember what I know.  The little things make us heroes.  The little things, done with passion and fervor, make big change.

This Martin Luther King Day I ask myself and you: How will we be heroes… everyday?

With love,

Beth

“Make a career of humanity – and you will make a greater person of yourself, a greater nation of your country, and a finer world to live in.”

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. (1929-1968)

The celebration of Martin Luther King, Jr.’s Birthday is upon us once again. I hope everyone has an opportunity to reflect during this time on matters of race, equality and respect.  I had many thoughts and ideas ruminating in my head about what to write this year and the days just got away from me.  So my e-mail this year is not all that I had hoped.

Besides being personally important to me, as you know, I find the ways that people approach this holiday interesting.  Thankfully, Kings’ birthday has, thus far, escaped the impact of becoming a reason for store sales; yet, this day has the feel of a typical “federal” holiday. For many people it just means that the banks are closed or they have a long weekend. 

Even more troubling, I have heard more than a few people relate to the holiday as one just for Black people.  As if the movement, the struggles and the accomplishments Martin Luther King embodies benefited and impacted only African Americans. As if our entire society has not felt the impact of civil rights.

I believe this holiday, more than any other celebrates the very essence of our country’s values and promise: what we strive to be. 

MLK was pretty prolific writer and orator during his short life and he has much to say that is relevant to the world we face to day: issues not just of racism but equity, socio-economics and war.  Unfortunately, thirty-four years after King’s assassination, concerns of civil liabilities and freedom, racism and prejudice, fear and strife are very relevant in our lives.

And as I write this on Friday evening, I admit that I am tired.  King often used the word “weary” in his writings, and that word resonates with me.  As is too often the case, I get caught up in much that is ultimately not important and weighted down by my own insecurities.  As they say, it’s my own “trees” that keep me from seeing the vast forest.  

And so I write this e-mail out of selfishness, because I need to be reminded of my values and priorities. Reminded of the personal responsibility I feel to the memory of the heroes of the Civil Rights Movement whom Martin Luther King, Jr. personifies.

I believe we must remember and honor the past. We must examine and confront in the present.

I hope this Martin Luther King Day, and the days which follow, give you the occasion to do just those things.

I thank you, friends, for all the impact you make on my life and the contributions you give to the world. And I close with some of King’s words which I found especially poignant this year:

“One of the great liabilities of history is that all too many people fail to remain awake through great periods of social change.  But today our survival depends on our ability to stay awake, to adjust to new ides, to remain vigilant, and face the challenge of change.  The large house in which we live demands that we transform this worldwide neighborhood into a worldwide brotherhood.  We must work passionately and indefatigably to bridge the gap between our scientific progress and our moral progress.”

“Yes, if you want to say that I was a drum major. Say that I was a drum major for justice. Say that I was a drum major for peace. Say that I was a drum major for righteousness. And all of the other shallow things will not matter. I won’t have any money to leave behind. I won’t have the fine and luxurious things in life to leave behind. But I just want to leave a committed life behind. And that’s all I want to say. If I can help somebody as I pass along, if I can cheer somebody with a word or song, if I can show somebody he is traveling wrong, then my living will not be in vain.”

Thinking of you. Love,

This day transcends one single man and symbolizes all the sacrifice and determination and strength of many people.  The people who stood on Edmund Petus bridge in Selma, Alabama and were beaten by those who are supposed to protect; the Freedom Riders who risked their lives to enforce Interstate laws; the children who marched; the people who lost their lives.  So many people who worked to make the United States to uphold its promise to its people; a promise of equity and justice and liberty and freedom.

A promise that we continue to struggle to uphold every day.  What often strikes me is the relative anonymity most people in the civil rights struggle had (and have).  The “ordinary” folks whose names will never be known, on whose legacy our feet rest.  Few people have the gift, the voice, the ability to transcend and become a symbol as has Martin Luther King- a man whose voice brings tears to my eyes and well of determination in my throat every time I hear it.  Most will never know such impact, yet their work is important and impactful in its own right.

I confess, I struggle sometimes to feel my own impact.  To let this work, doing what is right, center me beyond any momentary ego-gratification.  Martin Luther King recognized the need for such recognition in his Drum Major sermon (oft cited in these yearly e-mails and quoted below) and he tried to channel that human need for importance into good works.  I remember reading James Farmer autobiography in college.  Farmer was a long time civil rights worker (in the 40s and 50s before there was even anything called a “movement”).  His book was entitled Standing in the Shadows (or something close to that.)  The title referenced his own personal struggle with standing in the shadows of those who became leaders of the Civil Rights Movement.  He talked honestly about his inner struggle to accept that he would not be in the spotlight, not recognized for his hard work, would not be a leader (and in fact was overshadowed by someone much younger). He wrote of those personal jealousies and desires and ego which get in the way.  I really admired him for being honest about his struggles: Recognizing his and our own humanness.

Because it is hard sometimes to see any impact, or continue momentum without a groundswell of change (like the Civil Rights Movement) or when you’re in the background and no one will know your name.

Yet there is still much to be done.  I fear the pendulum swing that will take us away from gains in civil rights.  I fear that people complacent in our relative peacefulness and wealth before last September will grasp safety instead of something much harder to hold: truth, freedom, justice.   And there are still many there are still many vestiges of racism, sexism, classism, all the isms, which have never been truly addressed.

One small example: A report came out recently that African Americans are charged (on average) 20% more when buying cars in person, however, there is not price difference when buying cars on-line.  Hmm.  And people say racism doesn’t exist.

Inequities exist in all facets of life, every day, everywhere.

And on Martin Luther King Day, I hope to let go of all the crap that holds me down (to paraphrase Toni Morrison) and gets in the way of what’s important.  To focus on the important work that needs to be done and do my best to make a difference to change those inequities in any way I can.

I write this to remind myself.  And to honor all of you for the work you do everyday that makes a difference.  And to thank you for the difference you make in my life.  And in hopes that we can keep working and feel inspired and empowered even in the shadows.

“Yes, If you must say that I was a drum major, say that I was a drum major for justice; say that I was a drum major for peace, I was a drum major for righteousness. And all of the other shallow things will not matter. I won’t have money to leave behind. I won’t have the fine and luxurious things in life to leave behind. But I just want to leave a committed life behind. ”

Love and peace on Martin Luther King Day and always.