On New Year’s Eve, my friend Lisa asked me what my New Year’s Resolution was for 2010. I told her that I didn’t make New Year’s Resolutions; it just wasn’t something I did. She replied that she knew that anyone could decide to make positive changes any time throughout the year, but that she liked New Years Day because it was a reminder – one day – to remember to stop and take stock and think about what she wanted to change. And that concept resonated with me. As I thought about it, I knew that that was what Martin Luther King Day is for me.

It is a day to stop and reflect on what has been accomplished towards King’s Dream and to check the balance on what King called the “promissory note,” the riches of freedom and the security of justice promised to all people in the U.S. It’s a reminder – one day – to both look back at the strides of the civil rights (and there have been many), as well as the steps that still have not been taken (and there are many yet to go). In many ways, it is a time for resolutions. Typical New Years resolutions require someone to think about what he/she doesn’t like (weight, life balance, debt) and make a commitment to change it (exercise, fewer commitments, budget). I think this framework works for Martin Luther King Day as well- to examine where we, as a country, have not met our promises and to resolve to change those injustices, to see where civil rights are not yet a reality and resolve to fight until they are won.

Resolutions are typically more successful when people work on them together (friends exercise together, a whole family resolves to stick to a budget) and I think that holds true as well. On Martin Luther King Day we honor not only the man, but the movement he represents. We honor the legacy of all the people who have worked together to make changes. That’s why I walk every year in Denver’s Martin Luther King, Jr. Day Marade (combination of march and parade) – to be a part of something much bigger than myself and to feel a part of a larger commitment. And that’s why I write this letter every year- to reach out and connect to others, to feel that through each word read, letter by letter, we are joined. I don’t know that I’m always successful in my goal, but the act of connection and joining is important for my own resolve.

So, in the spirit of collective resolution, this year I thought I’d make a list of what should not be- a list of where I believe this country, and the world, has not yet met the promise of civil rights, the places where discrimination and marginalization still thrive. Implicit in making the list is the commitment (the resolve) to work on changing each inequity, to fight for the humanity and dignity of each person still feeling the weight of oppression. This is not a complete list, by any means, but it’s a start. It is a list that will exist long past next year’s MLK Day, but we must persist. It is a list that demands the collective commitment. So, in offering this list I ask- What speaks to you? What’s on your list? What will you decide to change? What is your resolution, not just for this one day (which may be just a day off), but for everyday?

And if that kind of commitment feels a little heavy, before the list, let me offer you three sources of inspiration.

Nicholas Kristof, journalist and author whose work I very much admire, said (I’ve paraphrased a little) “If the whole feels like too much. If you think I could never address all of that, just pick a slice. What slice can you address? We can all take a slice.”

Miep Gies, who helped hide Anne Frank and her family from the Nazis for two years. She died recently, at the age of 100. During her life, she resisted being made a character study of heroism for the young: “I don’t want to be considered a hero,” she said in a 1997 online chat with schoolchildren. “Imagine young people would grow up with the feeling that you have to be a hero to do your human duty. I am afraid nobody would ever help other people, because who is a hero? I was not. I was just an ordinary housewife and secretary.” (Thank you to my colleague, Kelly, who led me to this wonderful quote.)

S, my three your old has her own take. When a task looks hard, she tilts her head and put her hands up in a shrug and says “I can try it? I can try to do it.”

So, I say, what will you try? What slice will “ordinary you” address?

As for ordinary me, as I mentioned, I’m recognizing MLK Day by taking stock and making a list of what should not be, and then working to change each inequity, slice by slice.

My (incomplete) list of what should not be:

The color of your skin should not determine whether you get a job, get a loan, or rent an apartment, but it often still does.
More than 50 years after Brown v. Board of Education, educational segregation should not be status quo, but it is. In fact, nearly three-quarters of black & Latino students attend predominantly “minority schools.” Although black, Latina/o, Asian and Native American students make up only two-fifths of the total U.S. school population, they typically attend schools where the vast majority of students are from their own racial groups.

Your social class or your neighborhood should not impact your access to quality education, medical care or other resources, like healthy food options, but it does. And the choices we make are determined by the choices we have.

The color of your skin should not impact your access to quality education, medical care or other resources, like healthy food choices, but it does. As just one example, there are four times as many supermarkets in white neighborhoods than in neighborhoods that are predominantly people of color.

Who you love should not determine whether you can marry and receive the 1,138 federal benefits and rights given on the basis of marital status, but it does. Even in the five states where same sex marriage is legal, same-sex couples do not gain the benefits of these federal laws, rules and regulations.

Your gender should not determine your literacy rate or whether you go to school, but in many parts of the world, it does.

Your gender should not determine whether you are given lifesaving medical treatment, but in many parts of the world, it does.

Your class status should not determine your life expectancy, but, in fact, your position on the class pyramid is the single strongest predictor of your health and life expectancy.

The United States should not have the highest infant mortality rate and highest child poverty rate of all rich countries, but it does.

Your gender should not equate to your pay, but it does. Women’s salaries are still 80% of men’s for the same hours and same work .
Sexual orientation should not impact the ability for talented, skilled individuals to serve this country, but it does. In fact, since 1993, 10,000 people have been discharged from the military as a result of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.

The homelessness rate in New Orleans should not have doubled since Hurricane Katrina, but five years later it has.

It should not be legal for you to be discriminated against because of your gender identity and expression, but if you identify as transgender or gender queer, in almost all states you can be.

Genocide should not be happening in our world today, but is. And the places it occurs should not impact the world’s response, but it does.

Finally, the sexual transgressions of a “celebrity” athlete should not garner more media attention than any of the above issues, but we all know they do.

What’s on your list?